new year resolutions are stupid and pointless

Uh, yes. They are.

When I was eleven, I made forty two resolutions. Forty two. I ended up breaking EVERY single one of them. That taught me the first important lesson about new year resolutions: you're going to break them.

The second lesson I learnt was from my dad. He told me that most gyms had the highest number of new members during January. By the time March came around, about 85% members had fizzled out. By July, only 10% of the original members kept up with their memberships. Okay, these numbers are highly fabricated by yours truly but that's the important lesson: don't wait for January to sign up for something. Don't wait for January to quit smoking. If you were actually planning on doing it, you wouldn't be waiting for the first day of the new year. You'd just do it.

And the third important lesson is something I've gradually come to realize. Things like "I will get full marks on all my tests", "I will not lie" and shit like "I will exercise" is exactly what it sounds like, which is bullfuckingshit. So the trick is to start small and start easy and pick something which is at least a 0.1% feasible.

Basically, no resolutions for me except to change my apathetic attitude about every single life situation, stop being a pig when it comes to eating, and just write, godddamnit. And because I'm more in-touch with myself due to these online personality tests I've taken to doing lately, I know I'm not going to keep any one of them. I wish I'd write more because it seems like an important thing to do, but like Bukowski said, "My ambition is handicapped by my laziness." And that just sounds like a convenient excuse for not doing anything which I realize and thus I take back everything I've written and basically, this paragraph is void.

I've spent the whole day online, watching movies (Looper and Howl's Moving Castle. Both were decentish fun, but didn't really call out to my soul) and downloading shitloads of music. I'm now grooving to the Beach Boys' Holland and I have Britney (goddess) and Lou Reed for the whole of this week. I also finished Stardust today, which was nice and stuff but I couldn't really enjoy it too much because I've got the movie stuck in my head. The ending was, however, perfectly bittersweet.

Important albums: Too Young To Be In Love

Hunx and his Punx- Too Young To Be In Love

In the twelfth grade, I went through this transition period during which I was extremely happy and extremely angsty at the same time. I don't know how to explain it but my mood- and personality- would change, depending on the person I was hanging out with. I also went through several crushes during the year, which kind of ensured I was on a permanent floating high (crushes do that to me). 

It was through Crush #2 when I discovered the song "Too Young To Be In Love" by this band called Hunx and his Punx. It was perfect for me because it called out to my soul, y'know? It had the right amount of energy and heartbreak and hope and when I heard the line "nothing can mend my teenage heart again", I knew I'd found it. The song that would probably be my number one song for the year. I then pursued some of their EPs and stuff and it was okay. It had ridiculous lines like "what the heck is wrong with you?/I think you sniffed too much glue/You don't like rock 'n' roll/and I don't like you". Before you dismiss the song (and band) for being, well, stupid, wait! Give it a chance. And listen to the album Too Young To Be In Love.

I'm a teenager and I'm happy and sad and I'm into boys so this album is A+. It has everything you need to go through a mad crush/teenage hormones and the best part is, it doesn't take itself too seriously, which is an important criteria for me. It's just about being a teenager and chilling and being in love and stuff! You could almost pass it off for an album released forty years ago but all the vintage sounds and the lead singer's voice (it grows on you, trust me) and really really powerful backing vocalists... well, it's an explosive combination. It's not for everyone but if you like mad and fun stuff, listen to this album because you will not be disappointed. At all. 

Best tracks (in my important opinion): "He's Coming Back" and "Too Young To Be In Love". 

book roundup

Storm by Brigid Kemmerer 

I've been meaning to read Storm for a really long time, and I was so glad when I finally got my hands on it last weekend. 

Storm is about a bunch of teenagers who can control the elements of nature (fire, water, wind, stuff like that). This girl called Becca saves her classmate Chris Merrick from getting beaten up outside their school and then finds herself involved in the Merrick brothers' messed up lives (involving fighting from rival "elemental gangs", gunfights, family feuds, etc.). They also have time for love triangles when a new guy called Hunter joins school as well as parent problems. Good stuff.

Storm is a really fun book. There were some parts of the book which I found frustratingly slow-paced but it all worked out in a pretty interesting package. I personally really liked the characters, especially Chris and his brothers. The twins were really... fun to read about and I found the dynamic between the brothers interesting and believable. Becca is one YA heroine who isn't a piss off, isn't easily impressed by stupid stuff and doesn't let boys rule her life, which is a real blessing. I'm getting more jaded by YA with every progressing book simply because I cannot fathom why any character- male or female- would do a stupid (and the situations they find themselves in occur only due to their stupidity which the author tries to pass off as bravery) thing in the name of love. It's not love if you've known them for an hour and all they've done is stare at you during lunch and you guys have has one make out session! Lord.
And Becca still has some friend problems and most of all father problems which all happen for the greater good and stuff.

It's a good book. Definitely not the best book I've read and I don't think I'd be able to reread it, but I'd definitely recommend it for people looking for a new YA (paranormal) series. I think I'll probably pick up the second book in the series (it has one of the twins as the protagonist!).

Legend by Marie Lu

**spoiler alert** I actually don't see what the great deal is about the book. It's a futuristic society (judging from the clues from the book) about two people, June and Day. June's a rich military kid and Day's the most wanted person in the "Republic". This is going to contain spoilers. 

Thinking back, there seem to be some glaring plot holes. One thing that really confuses me is that for a Republic so advanced, a fifteen year old boy doesn't really fit the profile for the most wanted tag. Another really frustrating point is the the underdevelopment of the two main protagonists. They seem far too... forgiving of each others.  SPOILERS BELOW! 

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Day's mother was murdered. Murdered. As was Day's brother. And debatable or not, June was, in some way, responsible for their deaths. What I don't understand is Day's instant forgiveness. It just wasn't convincing enough as was the romance between Day and June.

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Spoilers end! 


It wasn't a bad book as such. it was just unconvincing. I also found myself skimming through several chapters towards the end. But judging by the other YA dystopian books I've been reading, this was definitely bearable. Just not great. 

Yet again, I'm at work and pretending to be productive. What I have managed to do in the last two days is create a recipe book with my own funky illustrations. All I have left to do is design the cover page. Boredom really hones my creativity, I must say. 

I'm really... jaded by work. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to go back to college. Like everything else in my life, the grass is always greener on the other side. 

couples part 1

Penryn and Raphael (aka Raffe) from Angelfall by Susan EE

I feel really strongly about Angelfall and its characters. At first glance, it’s like your everyday YA paranormal romance about a girl and an immortal angel (I know, right?!). Throw in a post-apocalyptic world full of resistance movements and cannibalistic children and crazy mothers and you get this fast-paced and fun novel (which you can devour in one night. Trust me on this).

Now what makes Angelfall so important to me are the two main protagonists, Penryn and Raffe. Penryn is your kickass heroine who just wants to save her little sister from the bad angels and Raffe is… an angel. A wingless angel, at that. So whatever reasons, these two journey across California to go save the little sister and Raffe’s wings. What you get is this roadtrip (actually, a walkathon would perhaps fit better) during which these two bicker constantly to hide the obvious UST (or is the bickering a result of the UST? Questions to ponder over) and get into a lot of danger and there’s constant fighting and everything.

What makes their romance really special is the fact that it doesn’t become the central part of the book. Good things are even better in small doses. There are tons of YA books out there which get absolutely ruined because of the romance overtaking the actual story (looking at you, Angel Burn) but Angelfall gives us the romance in little doses which makes it all the more exciting. It doesn’t hurt that both the characters are extremely likeable on their own and not just together which is the whole point of a strong main character, isn’t it?

Randall “Pink” Floyd and Jodi Kramer from Dazed and Confused

I root so hard for these two. Like really really really. Dazed and Confused is- in my opinion- one of the most perfect movies ever made and Pink and Jodi are like harbingers of this perfect movies (that didn’t make too much sense, did it?).

Pink is the kindest guy on the show and Jodi is the nicest girl. That doesn’t stop them from having fun and all of that teenage jazz (as opposed to clichés that tell us that nice people don’t have fun. Maybe I should retract because Pink and Jodi are popular people who are nice, and not nice people who are popular. That’s quite a distinction). Case points are Pink being an A+ guy to Mitch and Jodi being all cool older sister-y to Sabrina and the moral is that Pink and Jodi should totally be together. While watching the movie for the first time, I didn’t think much about them together until the (spoiler?) make out scene in the park! And Jodi stops Pink because he has a girlfriend and she’s decent like that and then they don’t hang out for the rest of the movie (which is, technically, just one night in their lives. Maybe I should write Dazed and Confused fanfiction about senior year) but who cares! Pink and Jodi forever! They’d form the kindest and most powerful couple in their little suburb!

Juliet Burke and James “Sawyer” Ford from Lost

What I’m going to do is ignore every cool aspect of Lost: the mythology, storytelling, the Island and the likes and concentrate on the romance. Now Sawyer is a cool guy and probably one of the funniest (and hottest) on the show. And he’s deep and full of layers and he’s got that con man act going for him, etc. etc.. Juliet is like this mystery woman with the smirk and you never really know what she’s thinking. So Sawyer is stuck in this endless triangle with Jack and Kate (who I happen to dislike so perhaps this whole ship is biased because I’m a huge Sawyer fan) and Juliet is all hung up over Jack and lots of drama and then wham! These two are the only ones left (I’m not counting Miles and everyone else, mind you) who’re stuck on the Island and that too in the 1970s! So what are the two to do?

Get together and be the most perfect couple until everybody comes back in time to ruin it, of course! They work so well together and they’re cute and everything good and I rooted so hard for them. I was actually frightened with Kate’s reappearance but by that time, I’d given up on the general storyline that the show took so… whatever. It all worked out okay (purgatory, remember? The season finale?). 

books roundup

The Hallowed Ones by Laura Bickle 

The Hallowed Ones is a pretty unique book, in the sense that it tries to connect vampires and Amish customs and traditions. I'm quite unfamiliar with the latter but it was an interesting take on this combination.

In a few short sentences, The Hallowed Ones is about a vampire epidemic that breaks out and wipes out a huge population of the world. The book deals with a young Amish girl, Katie, who saves an "Outsider" and faces the repercussions of her actions.

It was a decent book, but that's about it. I was quite confused by the portrayal of the vampires: were they unthinking, unfeeling monsters or creatures who were able to talk and communicate? I was left feeling a little incomplete.

The story pacing was a little slow, especially at the beginning. It seemed to take a long time for the action to build up. I also think that the fact that these people were stuck to one piece of land seemed to work against the favour of the story. It got rather boring. The characters- especially the villains- seemed rather one-dimensional. 

What I did like was the protagonist's journey into taking her own future into her hands, and her conflict between the religion she'd grown up with as well as gradual acceptance of others' beliefs. 

All in all, a decent book but nothing much to write home about.

If I Lie by Corrine Jackson 

I'm really glad I gave If I Lie a chance. It's easy enough to figure out what the main character (Sophie or Quinn, whatever you prefer) is protecting right from the blurb but that shouldn't stop anyone from going ahead and reading it. It's deliciously angsty and heartbreaking and it reduced me to tiny tears in some places. You really feel for the characters- all of them. I've been quite disappointed with YA in general simply due to the lack of depth and layers of characters but If I Lie proved to be a nice change. A book usually wins me over if a) feel something for the characters or b) I generate tears during the reading process. This book succeeded on both counts. 

Be warned though: If I Lie is seriously full of angst. If sad stories aren't your thing, I'd recommend proceeding with caution.






Severed by Scott Snyder 

I haven't read too many comics/graphic novels but this one worked for me. Suitably creepy and weird. The ending was A+.










Wasteland by Francesca Lia Block

I adore Francesca Lia Block's writing but don't really think much of the strength of her stories. Wasteland was a pleasant exception. Romantic and magical with just the right amount of surrealism. This is probably my favourite book by FLB.

pretending to work

It’s funny, because I took this blog so seriously in August. I updated practically everyday but then, like every other thing in my life, I got bored and spent time browsing reddit and watching TV shows instead.

It’s been awhile. I survived my first term of college, so a hearty pat on the back for me. Really, it seems like no time at all. College sucked in the beginning. I felt (and still do, actually) cheated because I wasn’t having a “real college experience” mainly because I was in the same city. And while everybody else seemed to be really living it up, I just came home and felt sad and all of the other moody, angsty crap which I’m trying very hard to get over. I honestly do not think I can do five years of the same college but I’m too uninspired (read: lazy) to actually study hard for CLAT so whatever, life is pointless.

Speaking of moody, angsty crap, I’m convinced that this world is full of energy packets and while you’re walking or sitting or whatever, your body is continuously in contact with these packets. So you’ve got high packets and low packets and when you go through a high packet, it’s good for you because your body reacts accordingly: you are energized enough to live with gusto and all that jazz. But when you go through a low packet (or is it when the low packet goes through you? I obviously haven’t thought this out), you’re in trouble! You’re low and sad and de-energized and stuff and thus you just stay in bed and ~not feel~.

I think it’s a great theory.

I also went for my first proper vacation after almost two years. It was Goa, with my family. Good fun, yes, but I’ve come to realize that vacations (and roadtrips) with family should occur in small doses and should not be a week-long adventure. This does not mean I love my family any less or anything. It’s just that “I need space” kind of packet.

On the TV front, I’m stuck on season three of Battlestar Galactica and I can’t proceed, for some reason. At least Apollo is thin again (I’m quite deep like that). Season two of American Horror Story is screwed up, as usual. I’m hoping it builds up a little more. To watch shows include Breaking Bad and Boston Legal.

I’m just going to post my goodreads blurbs here a little later. Now back to pretending to work. 

Important albums: Is This It

I feel ~youth~ coursing through me when I listen to Is This It, the Strokes' debut album. It's looks at every (okay, many) aspects of ~youth~ (yes, the little squigglys are essential to highlight the point of the word), be it angst and love and going back to her apartment or just chilling with your ~bros~. Julian Casablancas' voice makes you ~feel~. Best song on the album, in my important opinion, is Someday, because it really makes me ~feel~. Reading about this album makes me nostalgic for a time when the Strokes were going to save rock 'n' roll and they were just a bunch of five attractive dudes out their to jam to good music. They were so effortlessly cool and stylish. This album is cool. You will feel cool when you listen to this album. It's for heartbreak and parties and being by yourself and not being deep enough and trying your best and still fucking up and everything relevant.

whatever

I watched Moonrise Kingdom over the weekend and it was per-fect. Absolutely, completely. I loved it. I went with my sister and we obviously got into shit, because the movie was adult and she didn't have ID. It's a little frustrating because here we are, shelling our thousand rupees to watch a movie instead of just torrenting it and they won't let us in! Boo, movie theatres. You're the ones adding to the piracy debacle by being bitches about the whole not letting in sixteen year olds to a movie which SHOULDN'T BE RATED ADULT IN THE FIRST PLACE (I do realize that the theatres were just doing their job but I'm allowed to whine).

My term gets over tomorrow and I'm so excited. I just don't want no classes no more.

round up of my life

The title says it all. I spent a minute trying to decide whether it was roundup or round up but I've decided to go with the latter.

1. I read the Likeness by Tana French, which is the second book in the Dublin Murder Squad series. I'm avoiding using the term "sequel" because it's not exactly a sequel in the conventional way. Into The Woods was about Rob and his partner Cassie, and this book is about Cassie after the incidents in Into The Woods. I've read a lot of reviews about how implausible the whole premise is (read the book and you'll know what I mean) but that was totally okay for me because I wasn't thinking. What are the odds of a girl who looks exactly like you and then she's murdered and you go undercover? AS HER? Implausible yes, but the book was interesting and captivating and I couldn't let it go. It stuck with me the whole day. It was dark and kind of downward spiraling (does that make sense?) but it worked and I really enjoyed it. What really bums me out is that we didn't hear of Rob at all but you can totally deal with it. So I'd strongly recommend reading this novel and then reading the whole series (I realize that I haven't read the whole series myself but I'm hoping it'll be as good as the first two novels).

2. I watched Cabin in the Woods months after I put it on my movie list. It started off super interesting and funny and there were some real gems in the movie but it didn't do much for me. I think it was the end that was kind of annoying- not the end end but before the end. It involved characters running around and a lot of fantasy animals on the loose. It was hilarious, yes, but kind of stupid and not the "Look, we're being stupid because this genre is being severely misused and is stupid" but the "eh, stupid". The unicorn was hilarious too. And there were some parts that had me laughing out loud. And I scare easily.

So yes, watch it but DO NOT EXPECT MUCH. And watch it with someone because it's going to be funnier.

3. Um, yes, music that touches your soul?! I don't know what rock I've been living under but I have no idea how I went so long without listening to these two gems:

Hurt by Johnny Cash

I cried. But maybe that's because there were ~excess emotion~ in my soul.

Dance Yrself Clean by LCD Soundsystem

I was listening to this song while waiting for my ride this morning and fkdhsfkjsfkdsj (excess emotion). It touched my soul.

4. And finally, I've diagnosed myself with no motivation, apathy, laziness, and depression.

challenge yerself

1. Be a spy. Yes, really. Learn how to eavesdrop without looking like you're desperately trying to listen to what others have to say. Tail people! Especially the ones in college or better still, random people on the road. Just do it WITHOUT any creepy intentions, y'know? Fuck, build yourself a secret laboratory/research kind of place. Stack it up with files and laptops and a blank wall that will act like your canvas when it's time to brainstorm. Pick something/someone to investigate! Keep records. Find research databases. Give yourself a purpose! This is practice for being a CIA agent. Watch shows about detectives and private investigators and whatnot. Investigate, investigate, and then investigate some more.

2. Mindfuck yourself. Watch something that'll confuse the shit out of you. Read a novel that is guaranteed to make your head spin. Stay up all night dissecting a concept album. Creep yourself out! Have a Christopher Nolan movie marathon (that will be enough for a day, trust me. And you can spend the rest of the month reading up fan theories online). Watch American Horror Story. That's a guaranteed "wtf-that-just-fucked-so-bad-with-my-head" television show. Or buy House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. I haven't read it personally but I've heard it's like the mother of all mindfucks. Also, listen to some albums and analyze each and every lyric of each and every song and then write about it.

3. Read. Since I'm a college student now, I thought I'd give A Secret History by Donna Tartt a try. And then read something pseudo-intellectual, like Freakonomics and then settle down with some escapist fiction like Dan Brown novels or Michael Crichton.

4. Discover a director whose movies you haven't really watched and settle down and watch a minimum of three movies.

5. Build a world from scratch. Characters, locations, governments, geographies, names, histories, whatnot. Use timelines, maps, diagrams. Go crazy.

6. Try to be a little more physically active. Walks, yoga, stretches. Whatever works.

7. Make more zines. Fun ideas: You Know You're In Love When..., OTPs, favourite albums.

8. Build a fort in your room. Blankets, pillows, yoga mats, the likes. Stock it up with books and your laptop and music and candy and have a party by yourself. Have a movie marathon in your fort! Or educate yourself! Read your psychology textbook. Or just text away. Have a good time.

week roundup of tv

I’ve had a hell of a week so no time to blog, yo. Okay, not true. There’s just been a lot of stuff going on and I haven’t got around to blogging. I guess.

Anyway, just a little roundup. Have I mentioned the greatness that is Suits? Everyone should watch it! Everyone who’s studying law (hi me) should watch it! It’s so zanny and fun and quick and enjoyable to watch! I spent four or five days (with college and sleep, hello) finishing it up. I can’t wait till January now! Quick highlights from Suits:

• Harvey and Mike. They’re both really fun to watch and easy on the eyes and stuff. And they have this amazing chemistry that makes their whole relationship so… enjoyable (to watch). Obviously people have relationships like that only on television because who the fuck can talk so fast, finish your sentences, and be witty, and quote every other movie under the sun?! Not me. I realize I stammer a lot and I have trouble finishing my sentences so that has to change and I will use the fine men of Suits as inspiration.
• Donna! She’s so awesome. And I find a new couple to ship for life. Harvey and Donna! Totally. I got into an argument with a friend who’s convinced that Harvey should settle for someone “higher up”. I don’t even know what that means and he’s so fucking wrong because LOOK AT THEM. However, I’d strongly recommend them not getting together or doing that weird TV “I like you and you like me so we’re going to try this out oh look it’s not working out oops okay let’s move on but I still like you blah blah angst blah blah” dance. I really enjoy watching them right now. Super fun.
• Louis! He’s like the biggest villain and yet, he’s not because he’s such a loser. Rick Hoffman is so good. I’m convinced there’s this poor soul underneath all that stuff and there is, mind you, except he does something really stupid and you end up losing all your respect for him.
• Um, the suits. Men look so good in suits.
• Rachel and Jessica. Women power ftw.

It does have its flaws like any other show (the cliffie in the season finale. Did they really think no one saw it coming? So clichéd and silly. Just move on, Rach and Mike! And what was Mike thinking? Idiot. But Harvey stoned! Highlight of the episode.).

So I’m very impressed with Suits so I’m going to give Boston Legal a try- another legal dramedy or whatever. After I’m done with Fringe and the Wire. I’ve just started with Fringe and it’s kind of frustrating how slowly the season is building up. I’ve heard it gets better so I’m going to give it a try. At least until the second season. And then there’s Wire, which I’ve heard a lot about, too, so let’s see. I hope it’s good.

I watched the trailer for the new American Horror Story season and I have a feeling I’m going to end up watching it. What I’m going to do, though, is wait for the season to air completely before starting to watch it because waiting each week for an episode is pure torture. I’m kind of disappointed they’re not retaining the entire old cast because I thought the whole cast was phenomenal but let’s see! Speaking of which, isn’t Evan Peters a complete dish?  

So that’s all with the TV watching I’ve accomplished in the last one week. I haven’t watched any movies lately but I’m definitely going to try watching something tomorrow. I haven’t read anything much either, with the exception of The Sleepwalkers, by J. Gabriel Gates. It was sufficiently creepy and weird but it kind of lost me halfway and then I just stopped caring too much. It was an interesting concept and premise, though. Anyway, I have college tomorrow and I’ve been supremely exhausted lately. I’ve got this problem: I want to stay awake all the time and I’m always sleepy so I end up being a zombie, especially in class. I’m going to bed now. It’s going to take me a minimum of seven hours of sleep to deal with college on a Sunday. 

missing you everywhere

I feel like I've been very busy but honestly I haven't really been productive.

I wanted to curl up in bed and listen to Wild World (the one by the Skins cast. That's important) and take photos of every little thing and print them out and write down stuff like "missing you while going to college in the morning" and "missing you while staring at nothing in class" and "missing you while in the bus". Melodrama aside, it was sad, okay?


    

 (via)

Also, I've discovered the awesomeness that is Suits. I now have motivation to work extra hard during classes (the motivation stays in my head, though, and not really in the quality of work I produce. Still, that's better than no motivation at all) and a new appreciation for men in suits. And the dialogues (this is because I worry too much about being shallow)!

I also hung out with B and we watched Sherlock and I slept. I tend to do that a lot.

I tried to play mind games with some people and mind fuck them but that was a fail attempt.

I also made a super sad playlist which was me being emotional. Listen here, and the tracklist here:

Twin Peaks- Just You // Ry Cooder- Cancion Mixteca//  Little Joy- Unattainable//The Velvet Underground- After Hours// Alex Turner- It’s Hard To Get Around The Wind// American Sneakers- C.I.A// Cat Power- Still In Love// Laura Marling- New Romantic// Simon and Garfunkel- Leaves That Are Green// Sara Lov- Square Heart// The Shins- New Slang//  The Velvet Underground- Ride Into The Sun// Radiohead- Karma Police

Important YA Books To Read

(I realize that my captions are quite witty)

I'm a big YA fan. Nothing makes me happier than curling up in bed and reading a young adult novel and basically not sleeping until you finish the book and then you just stare at your dark ceiling and think about the book. But the problem is that there's a lot of substandard stuff out there so I'm just going to make it easier for everyone and tell you my favourites and why you should read them.

Unwind by  Neal Shusterman

Lord, this book. This is the father of every YA book of teenagers on the run. It's a brilliantly executed novel about an alternate universe kind of world, where troublesome teenagers are "unwound". Their souls are split and their body parts are used for harvesting. It's a tough concept to explain so I'd strongly recommend reading it because it's amazing. It's a perfectly balanced novel, with a healthy mixture of everything that makes YA really irresistible. And the best part is that it doesn't feel like a YA novel. It's like a roller coaster of good fun. The sequel to this novel will be out soon but don't fret because it's not really though series that start off really great and then just lose steam. The ending's kind of vague and perfect and you could leave it at that and still be a happy person.

Angellfall by Susan EE

I'm a sucker for romance but I hate romance that's overdone or silly. It's especially frustrating when it completely destroys what could have been an amazing book. However, Angelfall doesn't work like that. It's about angels- which is exciting enough. There's been an angel invasion of some kind on Earth (the reason is never explained) and so everyone's in hiding and it's a post-apocalyptic world and there are little cannibal children running around. Also, a wingless angel who could help our butt-kicking Penryn a way to find her missing little sister. The romance doesn't override the story but it still works and the oh my god, the UST. Fun fun fun. The ending was really kickass but now we need to expect a sequel which should be out sometime next year.

The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

To be very honest, I didn't really like John Green's earlier stuff. I didn't think much of Looking For Alaska or Paper Towns and I almost wasn't going to real Fault In Our Stars but then I did and I'm so incredibly glad. I wept buckets through the book because it's so achingly sad and beautiful and nice and funny and important. I don't want to ruin the book for anyone who hasn't read it but I urge to go get yourself a copy and inhale it because it's A+. And watch Vlogbrothers because it's extremely important too.

The Long Walk by Stephen King 

This is a dystopian story, about a society controlled by one leader. Every year, hundred boys walk. They keep walking (they aren't allowed to stop, mind you) and it ends when there's only one boy left working. The Hunger Games works on this principle too: last person standing is the winner. It doesn't have too much action/romance/drama that would qualify it as a YA book but it's worth a read. Especially if you're into The Hunger Games series.

This Is Not A Test by Courtney Summers

Zombie Apocalypse. Six kids trapped in their high school auditorium, trying to live it out. Uh guys, this is amazing. It really is because it's not just a zombie apocalypse story. Not at all. I almost forgot the zombies part because it's about a girl whose been abused and now she's surviving through an apocalypse and all she wants to do is die. Summers is an excellent author because she keeps you hooked. I couldn't stop reading and there were parts that actually creeped me out (a stranger in their little hideout). It's gripping and fast-paced and you can stay up at night and finish it and you'll be left a little creeped out. Promise.

dirty little secret

I have one. A major one.

I read twilight fanfiction.

I know, I know! How embarrassing! Except for Twilight (which I read, I admit. I forced my mother to buy it for me for my thirteenth birthday and I devoured it in a few hours and spent a whole lot of time on this site callled twilightlexicon or something of that sort), I've flipped through the other books in the series and eh, whatever. They didn't really do much for me and I thought the characters were written quite badly.

Which brings me to my main point. I started reading fanfiction simply because the books did nothing for me. I've noticed that there's no way I can read fanfiction of something I hold very close to my heart (case point: Harry Potter) because the characters and the their world mean so much to me. I found the idea of Malfoy and Hermione doing it t to be blasphemous! Harry and Hermione?! Jeez, what's wrong with the people of the world?!

See, that's where fanfiction comes in. It's perfect for stuff you really don't care about. I do agree that most people feel passionate about a certain fandom and that's what drives them to write for it but personally, that's one thing I couldn't do. If I loved something too much, I'd just slave over the original matter again and again  because- to me- that's magical.

So yes, back to twilight fanfiction. Where do I start? Oh yeah, it was back in... 2008, I think. I was fascinated by the idea of Midnight Sun (which is the Edward- male protagonist of Twilight. If you didn't know that, you've been living under a rock) and it frustrated me because I couldn't read it. I found a comment about Midnight Sun- written by somebody who wasn't the author! It was a regular lady! It was called fanfiction! I'd lost my fanfiction virginity to some Harry Potter fic back in the sixth grade but that didn't count. I also read a fair bit of A Great and Terrible Beauty fanfiction sometime between 2007-2008 but it was this silly fandom that really sucked me in.

It's been four years. Four years of school and I'm in college now and I cannot give up fanfiction. Especially Twilight fanfiction. It's escapism at it's best. I've stayed up 'til seven in the morning READING. Yeah, I know! I once bunked school because an author killed off an Edward in a WIP (work in progress, you noobs) and I was depressed.

It's sometimes depressing. I'm a major lurker so I only post comments here and there and I definitely don't actively participate. It's an ugly fandom, let me tell you. Authors pull their fics every other day because of the hate mail they receive and that's partly why I began to back up fanfiction. I downloaded a program and everything for that purpose. And this is the fandom that produced 50 Shades of Grey! Fun fact: I knew about it when it was being published on fanfiction.net. Wow, right? I couldn't read it because it was a 110 chapters and BDSM kind of icked me out back then.

One major thing about fanfiction is that it's turned me into a complete perv. The number of weird fantasies that have been drilled into my head at the young, young age of fourteen is astronomical. And nothing icks me out anymore, really. You want to shove a tree trunk up her ass? Go ahead and do it! You want to make Bella a hu-cow? Yes, please! (There really was a fic like that. Promise)

So yes. That's my fanfiction story. I've drabbled in some other fandoms but it's twilight fanfiction 4eva!

things to like

#1
Sixteen Candles! Why did I wait so long to watch this? It's kind of stupid, to be honest. Sam talks to herself! That's weird. It's weird that she comments on how lame she is, out loud. I do it in my head. I wonder if it makes a difference if you say it out loud. This is unrelated but my sister suggested talking to yourself as a way of "being in touch with your feelings". Yeah, back to the movie. Jake Ryan is kind of a douche. Who the hell lets some little freshman drive his very drunk (albeit horrible) girlfriend home and suggests getting frisky (!) with her? That's douche-y! But he's a total babe, isn't he? He's those beautiful boys who you just crush on 4eva and they should never know how you feel because ew! Relationships are gross.



What a dish.

#2

My mom walking into my room while I'm slaving over fanfiction and hugging me tightly and saying, "Baby." God, I love my mom.

#3
These pink zines I've been working on. I really like them... they're basically just ~feelings~ and stuff but they're cute and fun (even if I say so myself)

#4

This is one of the nicest and slowest and most beautiful songs by the Strokes. I realize it's just the demo version but it's fantabuolous (yes, these kind of words describe the importance of the song). It's so important and gah, touching. Plus everyone can appreciate the orgasmic bliss that is Julian's voice.

#5

The Lumatere chronicles! Everyone should read it. 

fun fantasy

It's a book, you guys. Fun fantasy novels!

But what a book. I just finished Froi of the Exiles, which is the second book in the Lumatere Chronicles by Melina Marchetta. I cannot stress how amazing both the books in this series are. It's fantabulous. Heart melting. The kind of stuff which you cannot stop thinking about. It's perfect. I think Melina Marchetta is soon going to become a goddess.

I loved the first book, called Finnikin of the Rock. It's fantasy but that shouldn't put you off (if you're not a fantasy fan, that is. Of course)! To be honest, it took me a long time to get around to reading it in the first place because the plot synopsis seemed so blah, like another fantasy series about a boy and complicated name and characters and languages and stuff you stop comprehending after the first fifty pages (I'm looking at you, Eragon). But you have to give this a try because it'd be unfair to categorize this book under the fantasy genre simply because it's so so so so much more. It's about a boy who is all alone in the world, exiled from his own kingdom, it's about a man trapped in a prison for ten years without seeing his son, it's about a kickass girl who's ready to take down the whole world for what is rightly her, it's about a boy who's been left to raise himself so the lines between good and bad blur (Froi- he's such an interesting character and the second book is super interesting), it's about home and good and bad and fate and destiny and magic and just being human.  I'ts a power-packed book. Finish it in one night if you can. I did it before my History midterm so that's probably going to explain my substandard marks.

What I really love about this series is that every character is so unbelievably intricate. That's what I meant by human; every character has about fifty different layers. There's no black and white... just an endless blurry shade of grey. Melina Marchetta is an amazing writer because she manages to keep you completely absorbed. I was rooting so hard for every single character because they all seemed so important, so... true. I've only read one more book by her, called Saving Francesca, which was okay. It was a lot like a Sarah Dessen novel by an Australian writer. It didn't have too much of an impact, to be honest. But oh my god, the Lumatere Chronicles! I really cannot get enough. I was literally shaking while reading- I was that excited. So please please please, procure these books and devour them. A word of caution though: the second book is HUGE. Massive. So be prepared.

Happy reading. 

diy day

I love arts 'n' crafts. Nothing makes me happier. NOTHING. I love looking at photos for inspiration, keeping track on tutorials, reading craft blog and generally doing arts 'n' crafts all day. One of my favourite people in the world and I sat and did exactly that and it was perfect. Major influence was Rookie, at least when it came to the zines and banners. And the glitter clips. The flowers in ice were something we'd seen on tumblr and they worked out really cute! Now we just need an occasion to actually use them. Just freeze petals in water! They're so pretty.

How cute is this? B took all the photos and those are my gross hands. But pwiddy pwiddy.

DIY is so messy. But fun and productive. We played Little Joy and Simon and Garfunkel (okay it was the Almost Famous OST) and we destroyed our workspace AKA B's room.

~~Stationery Forever~~

We got conned into buying a shitload of wool for banners which we ended up not using.

And zines! Zines are my favourite.

goddess shakira

I had an amazing day with B today, but that's a post especially devoted to diy. I just realized the beauty of Shakira and she's a true goddess. She belly dances, for Christ's sake! And she's beautiful. She looks like those people who're beautiful on the outside AND inside, y'know? Which is an extremely important criteria for being a goddess. Also, I'm not really sure if she's actually a beautiful person on the inside but she sure looks like it. So without further ado...

Underneath Your Clothes is like my jam. It's perfect, really. Everyone should listen to this and sing along, especially on auto rides early in the morning. It makes your day better because you'll be humming this song until you go to sleep that night.

Um, this is the combined beauty of goddess Shakira and Dude I Love, Nadal. I know zilch about tennis but whatever. Look at his smile, you guys! I melted into the puddle of love and goo when I saw his smile. And together? They're on fire! This is beautiful. Even the scene in which she dances for him doesn't make me cringe which is a massive achievement (for me, at least)!. Yummy yummy.

More fun stuff to listen to: (this stuff just makes your dull day bright. Really. Promise)

(Isn't she gorgeous? And hello, it's the world cup! United we stand, divided we fall!)

And finally... the jam of the jamzz. The belly to my dancing. The ANTHEM.

Enough said.

And bonus:

I want to go through a break up, just so I can listen to this song.

I realize that all the video stills are of goddess Shakira's assets. Weird.

and your mother too

I'm a big fan of coming-of-age anything- books, movies, playlists, thoughts, websites, the works. Y Tu Mama Yambien seems to be featured on every coming-of-age movie list (I read those, yes) and I finally got around to watching it.

If you remove every sex scene/sexual reference/sexual anything in the movie, you'll be left with about a fifteen minute footage of the sea and maybe a car travelling on the road. But this movie works on so many different levels because it's just so... real and so blinded at the same time. It's about two Mexican teenagers who take a roadtrip with an older woman to a beach they made up. That's essentially what this movie is about but it's so much deeper than that. You have a narrator, who points out little scenes during the movie which you'd otherwise miss, and they're so full of... feeling. It's been two days since I've watched it and I can't stop thinking about it. It makes me want to pack up my bags and just take a long roadtrip somewhere, anywhere. Every little thing in the movie is so real (I know I'm using the word too many times but it just fits in with the movie) and it's so easy to overlook things. It's set in 1998, with the end of the dictatorship (I think it's the dictatorship. My facts could be completely wrong) and you have scenes where soldiers patrol up and down the roads with guns and the boys take it so calmly it's easy to overlook them. Until you stop to think and you realize how unsettling armed soldiers in civilian society are.

    

   

    

I'd really recommend this movie. It's fun and light but you think long enough and it's got a deeper subtlety to it. Also, I really dig the soundtrack. I found it on 8tracks so I've been listening to it non-stop.

melting hearts

Nothing  makes me happier than this short film. It'll melt your heart.

goddess gwen

She's a real goddess. I adore her. Want to know how much of a goddess she is?  Listen to Cool. The video is partly why I want to be a music video director. Also, Gwen with brown hair! Doesn't she look gorgeous?

I want a cute dopey looking boyfriend to bum around with in this beautiful Mediterranean town! And if we're talking about Gwen, we have to talk about No Doubt. I never really got seriously into them but they were way before my time, you guys! Sam from All American Girl (Hi, goddess Meg Cabot) was so obsessed with them. So 2004. But, yes. We must appreciate No Doubt. I went and bought myself a No Doubt CD for a cheap cheap cheap price of 33 rupees! Weeee.

Um, yes? Museum of lovers! That's a very important line!

I really dig this song for some reason. Unrequited and yet so jazzy.

goddess meg cabot

Meg Cabot is a goddess. She's a goddess for preteens everywhere. For some reason, I really disliked the ages nine to thirteen because it was an awful age to be. It's sad and confusing and depressing and I really felt like I didn't belong in school and I hated everyone (ooh). But I always had Meg Cabot books to make me feel a gazillion times better and dream about cool cities I'd never see and fall in love with boys THAT DO NOT EXIST. In this universe. Case points will follow.

 #1 PRINCESS DIARIES AKA BOY OF MY DREAMS

What can I say about this series? Not much, because I haven't read the entire series. I've read the first book about a billion times, simply because my aunt gifted it to my sister when she was about seven or eight. Yeah, she thought it was the PG version of the movie, and to be honest, it's PG fun but imagine a nine year old reading it. I didn't know what a date was. I had no idea why she was so obsessed with the idea of a tongue in someone's mouth. Things like that didn't happen you guys. Chill. The years have given me a new appreciation for the first book. Because it's FUNNY (actually) and it introduces us to the best male character: Michael Moscovitz. Michael is my ideal man. Really. Just read it to find out. I'm also very partial to the last book in the series because (what else) M and M get their happily ever after and Mia finds out who she is yada yada and Michael is back and he's hot. I'm very deep like that. Also, the millennium references! They had dial-up! Michael was working on his e-zine! Leonardo from Titanic was passe (wtf)! Hell, they used chat rooms! Just read the first book. It's a gem. And it took me an incredible amount of time (several different combinations of google searches) to find the cover I was looking for. Boo.

#2 MEDIATOR SERIES 

I kept up with the Mediator series between the seventh and ninth grade because I thought Jesse was very hot. That seems to be a recurring trend. And he was dead! How tragic! Spoiler for the series: doesn't it seem unfair that HE COMES BACK TO LIFE? The universe does not work like that Meg Cabot! And looking back, Jesse was way too old-fashioned. Except Carmel was a charming setting and how exciting would it be to have a hot guy living in your room and guess what, he doesn't smell bad or anything! Except he's dead. My favourite book in the series is the fifth one (I think) when Suze and Jess finally make out properly. In the very last page. There's a lot of ~angst~ so beware.

#3 1800- WHERE-R-U

Oh, man. This series is godly. It deals with everything! Psychic powers, motorbikes, jailbait (he's eighteen, she's sixteen and he's on probation!), racism, murderers, child abusers, best friends, lightning, fires, mom problems, etc, etc. And Jess is a lot of fun. And Jess and Robb and the bike are such an awesome crime-fighting trio! The fifth book takes place a couple of years in the future and it kind of takes away the special-ness of the first four books so I'd strongly advise anyone reading this to stop with the fourth book.

#4 BOY MEETS GIRL

The boy series are her "adult" books but eh, whatever. Boy Meets Girl is probably one of my favourite books in this world. I'll tell you why. When I'm sad or depressed or bored, I don't read for James Joyce or something like that. I'd go for the book that makes me feel 100% better and it's always this one. I've read it about 84757 times in the last five years and it's a permanent part of my bathroom now but that just goes to prove how much fun it is. The other books in this three part series are really good fun for a lazy day read, so instant recommendation.

I'm starting to realize that this most is going to make me look like I have a really shitty taste in books which is NOT TRUE. I love reading but I love reading escapist fiction more than anything. And Meg Cabot was a very integral part of that escaping. Looking back, her books seemed to have some flaws like the fact that the guys were always super duper perfect. And the girls- usually the ones in the adult series... I'm looking at you, Queen of Babble- were quite stupid. But whatever! Meg Cabot is 100% a goddess. Also, her blog is used to be a lot of fun. Case point here. I haven't read it since 2007 or so but it was always really funny and she seemed like such a fun person, y'know? Anyway, I just really love you Meg Cabot.

NOTE: I forgot to mention a few books. Like Pants on Fire! That's really good. Erotica for twelve year olds! And I'm now at that age where I can't publicly admit to reading Meg Cabot except for my secret diary aka this blog.

problems in august 2k12

I just had an incredibly frustrating conversation with my mom about college. I love my mom, I really do. She gets me all the time except when it comes to this adult business. How do I explain it to her? I thought college was going to be a major growing experience. I mean, I'm an adult! I get major responsibilities! I'm going to be independent! Yada yada. The thing is, all of the above things are going to be highly unlikely if you're living at home. I love my family but I feel so smothered right now and the weird thing is, it's not because of them. I feel like I'm smothering myself. I feel so aimless and purposeless and so naive and childlike and when do I start to feel like an adult? A person who can look after him/herself? qkdwjdwkj

it was the last day of school in 1976

One of my favourite movies ever is Dazed and Confused. I've seen in twice in the last one year and I sometimes wish I could watch it every single week, or every time I have a bad day but I don't want to take away the special-ness of the movie, y'know? Once I'm done watching it, I'm filled with this inexplicable happiness and a great desire to just... do something, like climb on top of a water tower or get stoned out of my mind or just go on a roadtrip after a night out with people I genuinely like and love. Every little detail is so incredibly put together and it's just one happy, stoned moment of your life. The last time I watched it, I couldn't go to sleep for ages just because I was waiting for something to happen, waiting for places to go.

And besides, it fills your head with the most important advice. Case point:

"Man, it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do, man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N."

See? Important stuff.

And and and:

"Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place... Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place."

You guys! This is what you should remember. Write it down. Carry it around with you while you're trying to survive the hellhole that is school/college/crappy job/crappy relationship/whatever.

Also, I have issues with confrontation and issues with people getting humiliated. And you know what? There're a couple of scenes in Dazed and Confused while girls are getting TORTURED and guess what? i can sit through them. I can sit through them without closing my eyes/ears or cringing. And I manage to LAUGH. This movie has helped me get through my fear of watching people humiliate themselves.

Also, Pink is a total dish. Really. Dreamboat. He's such an incredibly... cool guy. And Jodi. Don't even get me started on Jodi. Per-fect. Both of them should just be together and have kind babies. And you know one thing that is guaranteed to make you feel better? Mitch Kramer's face. Really. He's got the weirdest expressions throughout the movie that just... make you feel better.

So the verdict is that if you're sad or unhappy or whatever or you're just in A MOOD, watch Dazed and Confused because it's the best movie. Ever.

this is important

this is a very important song and a very important video

why are most YA books shit?

Really, why? I've been going through several books for the last one week and I really can't bring myself to finish any of them. I consider myself a patient reader- at least when it comes to YA- but all these books seem to be taking a severe toll on my mental health. I found a few gems along the way so I guess that's a small price to pay.

For starters, consider The Boy Who Sneaks in my Bedroom Window by Kirsty Mosely. I only got through about 25% of the book before giving up because you know what? It was like reading amateur fanfiction. And trust me, I read a shitload of fanfiction and this book was like a story by a fifteen year old who wants the two main protagonists to hook up. It had zero depth and I really don't care what colour of eyeliner this girl (I think her name was Angel) wore to school and how Liam or whatever was so gorgeous and he protected her from the severe trauma she suffered at the hands of an abusive father. Oh yeah, and she's a part of a street dance gang.

My problem was that it lacked any form of connection and continuity and the characters were so incredibly one dimensional. It's not even worth wasting an afternoon of free time on.

The other books on my abandoned bookshelf are The Forsaken by Lisa M. Stasse and Destiny Binds by Tammy Blackwell. I usually have a good time reading even the crappiest paranormal and dystopian YA books but I really had to give up with these two. Too painful. Zero depth and stupid characters.

The books I managed to get through were The Near Witch by Victoria Schwab, In The Woods by Tana French, Something Like Normal by Trish Doller and I Hunt Killers by Barry Lyga. And I guess if I'm talking about all the books I've read in the last one month, I should include Raw Blue by Kirsty Eagar.

The Near Witch and Raw Blue were okayish. I don't enjoy fantasy too much but The Near Witch was interesting enough. It definitely dragged in parts but worth spending time on- especially if you enjoy fantasy. Raw Blue was on a completely different tangent- it's realistic fiction about a rape victim trying to deal with her problems with surfing. It didn't really hit me hard or touch me on a deeper level or anything (contrary to severel glowing reviews on goodreads) but it was an okay read.

Something Like Normal is realistic fiction too, about a Marine suffering from PTSD. It's a fast read and fun enough. (I managed to shed a tear or two)

I don't really know how I feel about I Hunt Killers yet. I just finished it yesterday and I definitely recommend reading it with caution because it's disturbing. I really liked Jazz because he's not a stupid blind protagonist you want to strangle for not seeing what's right in front of him. It's different but I haven't formed an opinion on it yet. When I finished it though, it was about one in the night and it took me a while to go to sleep because I had serial killers on my mind. And that's not really a pleasant way to sleep, trust me.

The real gem here was In The Woods. I'ts not YA and it's so fucking amazing. It's a beautifully written book but a little too long and there's too much prose here and there but put together, it's great. It's frustrating because you never really get to the bottom of the whole mystery but I kind of really enjoyed it like that. Not everything in this world has an answer, you know? The characters really grew on me. I was kind of surprised I'd got so attached to Rob, the main protagonist. The story left me feeling so sad and kind of in the dark but not in a bad way... if that makes sense. It's not a happy read but definitely worth checking out. I want to read the next few books in the series (it's called The Dublin Murder Squad) but Rob doesn't feature so I don't know if I want to read them right now.

Anyway, that was my reading list for the last one month. I'd better study or whatever for my midterms next week.

in the mood to cry or whatever

I think slam poetry is fascinating. Actually, I find anybody reciting poetry fascinating- provided it's done. There's this one scene in Dead Poets Society when the boys are in their little cave and Charlie- I think it's Charlie- breaks into a rap, reciting some poem whose name I forgot. That excited me a lot. And then I read a poem by Jeanann Verlee on tumblr. It's called Unsolicited Advice to Adolescent Girls with Crooked Teeth and Pink Hair and I read it again and again because it's that... touching. Great. I don't really have words for it. And then I found the video above of Verlee reciting the poem! The poem was amazing enough; I didn't know it could be even more amazing. The trick is to read the poem and then go and watch the video and watch the video again and again and then watch some more videos, like this one. Just read the poem beforehand because that always works for me and I tend to relate to the poem much better. And read Unsolicited Advice because it's phenomenal.

Sarah Kay is another poet who I absolutely adore. She's a goddess. She really is. And if you want to convince yourself, please go watch her TED talk because well, there are no words. I had tears in my eyes but that's just me because I cry for everything. You don't even need to read her poems or anything before watching it. It's a long video but so so so worth it.

Also, if we're on the subject of videos that made me cry, watch this one of Kerri Strug from the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. I had an Eyewitness Readers book about famous Olympians who underwent more than just a race- it was them competing with themselves and other inspirational/motivational stuff- when I was younger (I still read it all the time in the bathroom) and Kerri Strug was one of the Olympians featured. A gymnast who injured her ankle during her exercises, she went on to wind gold for the US team and just watch the video and you realize how incredibly difficult it must have been for her.

Ah-ma-zing.

July, July

Oh, July, where did you go? I had big plans for July. I really did. But I just found myself existing from day to day, sleeping in class and going for farewells. Three of my best friends left and I really feel like everyone's going places and I'm the only person stuck here in the same city, doing the same thing. It's exactly like school. I don't even have the energy to push myself, get out of my comfort zone, etc. etc. I've got some college friends coming over right now and that feels like a step forward because I don't usually sleepover with people but then I'm worried. I'm worried about entertaining people, worried about spending too much time with them and whatnot. I wish I could stop worrying.

I really just want to stay in bed all day and wake up to watch Roswell. I just discovered it last night and it's thirty different shades of stupid but it's growing on me. I considered bunking college just to watch it but I refrained. I have midterms next week and I need to do my best to keep my attendance up. But Roswell! Max's soulful eyes! The millennium references! It's exciting. It's going to take me a bit of time to appreciate Max and Michael fully because Max reminds me of Ethan from Lost (he was fuck creepy) and Michael looks like the Lonely Island guy's brother.

Also, I started a writing project using drabbles. I've kind of evolved the challenge so let's see how it works out. I'm using tumblr to keep track of it.

I just want to stay in bed and discover new music and read good YA fiction and not do anything remotely intellectual or studious or productive. It's not like I do these things anyway but since I spend almost twelve hours in college, it feels like I'm greatly involved in the pursuit of knowledge.