I've been meaning to write about something- anything- for almost a month now, but I keep losing my inspiration/drive/motivation. My problem is that I get way too complacent about everything and that results in me doing nothing except worrying about how unproductive I'm being.
I read Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me by Mindy Kaling a month back and I loved it with all my heart. I'm not sure if I've written about it on this blog but the following quote is something I want to stick up on my wall under a bold "Important Life Advice- Please do not forget this, Aadya!".
“I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in
public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else
is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on
in detail about how stressed out I am isn’t conversation. It’ll never
lead anywhere. No one is going to say, “Wow, Mindy, you really have it
especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes
the cake.”
This is probably the most useful advice I've come across recently. I always feel stupid after I complain about how stressed I've been because I honestly don't know a single person who's not been stressing about something in life. I'm also trying to be a better conversationalist but I have a lot of work when it comes to that front.
I'm terrified of small talk. I've been in several awkward situations recently after which I keep beating myself up about how cringe-worthy I sound. I shuffle and cough and panic and talk in a hysterical pitch and that's uncool for my sanity levels. In situations like this, I must aim to channel Pink from Dazed and Confused for the way he seamlessly blends into cliques and is just charming and diplomatic on the whole. Role model! Also, while we were watching After Hours, my sister pointed out that it was so incredibly chill the way Griffin Dunne's character casually tells the girl whose name I forgot- "You've got an incredible body" or something along those lines. My sister was telling me her aspiration about being a person who can compliment someone easily and not being awkward about it and that has come to be my aspiration too. Compliments are not about being needy or weird or expecting something in return. They're just to express how much you enjoy the little things and the big things.
I'm not going to read this blog post because (a) my grammar sucks today and (b) my thoughts are all over the place and I don't want to sit and worry about having the right kind of thoughts.
Sunday 9 June 2013
"The Duckman's goofball moves cannot remotely be described as "cool," "funky" or even "human," but he needs this song to express all the bottled-up emotion he has for Molly, because he can't tell her himself. So it's slapstick comedy, but it's also true romance: a very rock & roll combo." (x)
In short, Grant suddenly and fully developed charm, a quality that is tantalizing because it simultaneously demands detachment and engagement. Only the self-aware can have charm: It’s bound up with a sensibility that at best approaches wisdom, or at least worldliness, and at worst goes well beyond cynicism. It can’t exist in the undeveloped personality.
I loved the Rolling Stone review for the latest Game of Thrones episode. Spoilers will follow. It sums up my feelings perfectly.
The death of an idea can hurt just as badly as the death of a person. People are mortal, after all, and come with an expiration date – it's the cost of doing business with them. But ideas often have a wider impact than any one person. They're passed down and passed around, like heirlooms or viruses. It's easy to convince ourselves that an idea that gives our life meaning will outlast our life, any life, in turn. To lose an idea like that leaves us adrift, with no shore in sight...
... But for readers and viewers, it killed our idea of what this series is. The central conflict, Stark vs. Lannister, is now over. The Lannisters won. There will be no comeback now, if ever. Sure, we know on some level that there's much more going on, from smaller rivalries like Littlefinger vs. Varys or Cersei vs. Margaery to the potentially massive storms brewing north of the Wall and east of the Sea. But it's been Stark vs. Lannister the whole time, until now. A lifetime of reading and watching fiction has trained us to treat the establishment of a central conflict as a promise that it will remain the central conflict until the end of that work of fiction. The Red Wedding took that promise, cut its throat and dumped it on the floor to bleed out.
Also this part really called out to me:
Gilly called Sam a wizard for being able to memorize stuff he saw in books, making every A Song of Ice and Fire diehard out there a hero, just for one day.
Little Eva- The Locomotion
This has got to be one of the best songs ever. Little Eva's version is so much better than Kylie Minogue's.
"When you start to really know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.”
My brain is working much faster than I can act (or react) so I've spent the whole of last week feeling like I was living in my head and day-to-day interacts seemed pointless. I've also come to realize the importance of what my dad calls "RAM Dumps". It's basically just dumping every single thought/to-do item on a piece of paper. I always feel so much better once it's all down on paper and then I spend a while just staring at it and doing nothing about it.
My thoughts and feelings are really cluttered as of now so most of the time I don't know what I'm feeling and I'm constantly worrying about things that need to be done. I realize that I'm not a very organized person when it comes to my physical spaces but the same can be applied to my thought process, which I find really worrying because I crave order and organization. I spend an insane amount of money on too many notebooks which are always left lying around half complete. I've got about ten years worth of random shit that was in my desk lying in ugly cartons near my bed and that's just adding to mental ugliness. My dad has been talking a lot about "broken windows", which is a term that refers to disorder in your life. I guess it could be stuff in your surroundings, or perhaps people in your life, or just thoughts. I should ask him about it, because it's a fascinating concept. My living spaces are full of broken windows: broken earphones, dirty shoes, unfolded clothes, plastic bags, old basketballs and scraps of paper (these are basically just items I can see from my position on the bed). My thoughts are also broken windows: I've been grappling with what seems to be a conflict between introversion and extroversion. I can't figure out if I'm introverted or just lazy. I love spending time by myself but lately it always hits me badly when I know my friends are out there, living it up, and I'm just in my room doing unproductive things. I (most of the time at least) attribute my seclusion to the fact that I'm just too lazy to get dressed and figure out a system of getting home late at night. Perhaps it's to do with the fact that I always feel like I'm answerable to my parents, and this makes me extremely anxious so I just choose not to go out so I don't need to deal with it. I don't know. Maybe I'm just making it a bigger problem in my head, or perhaps I'm just trying to excuse my introverted behaviour. I don't know.
Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions. -Quiet, Susan Cain
I just finished Quiet by Susan Cain. Agreed, it took me two months to finish, but it was so worth it. I think it worked great not only as an interesting take on psychology and culture, but it also served as a self-help book (My dad begged me not to read self-help books, claiming that they would ruin my life. This blog post is probably just about everything my dad told me.). I've always felt like I need to make excuses for not only my behaviour when I want to stay at home or not go for parties, but also for my entire family's (We're just a bunch of homebodies living together). I felt like Quiet really made my appreciate my own- and others'- "I'd rather be by myself or with a small bunch of people" qualities. I don't consider myself a shy person, so the fact that extroversion and shyness may go hand-in-hand was also interesting. This was a really eye-opening book.
I haven't been reading lately, for whatever reason. I need a book to grab me and force me to stay up and devour it. The last book that had this effect on me was The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. It had the perfect blend of a gothic mystery, creepy houses, fucked up families and secrets. I dig that kind of stuff. I was left pretty disappointed by Stoker, which I thought I would love because it seemed to have the same formula of secrets and gothic undertones and general fucked up behaviour.
I loved Is Everyone Hanging Out With Me? by Mindy Kaling. I don't usually laugh out loud while reading nor do I read memoirs in the first place but this was one was s fluffy and breezy and it was exactly what I needed.
The weather is perfect right now (oh god, I've become one of those people who talk about weather TO THEMSELVES). It's usually exactly the right amount of cloudy and windy and it was almost worth going through almost four months of unbearable heat just for the weather we're experiencing right now. My friend was telling me about a midnight car ride on the highway. On of our friends was driving at 140 (uncool. I'm terrified of speeding) but these two guys were up on the top of the car (as I write this, I realize the absolute danger of the the situation.), with the wind on their faces and all that jazz. I don't think I'd ever do something like this but it sounds perfect only because of the wind. I feel like I need to write long, lengthy posts about how the wind makes me feel. Instead, I just listen to Colours of the Wind (actually, I don't. I imagine listening to the song while I'm enjoying the wind. Thus, I've concluded with one more void paragraph).
I'm going to go and enjoy the wind and drink lemon tea (which I learned how to make. One step closer to adulthood. I also drove today. Goodbye childhood). But before I do, I need to share this song, which is the most perfect thing I've heard lately.
West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band- I Won't Hurt You
I'm an untouched diamond That's golden and brilliant without illumination Your mouth's a constellation Stars are in your eyes I'll take a spaceship And try and go and find you
I know psychadia is a result of the 60s but to me, this song sounds so beyond its years, especially since it was recorded in the 60s. I don't think I'm being very articulate, but eh whatever. Everyone should be one step closer to finding themselves through this song.
Also, one last thing. The broken windows theory actually exists, but it's a criminological theory! I need to start looking up everything.
I was re-watching Remember The Titans last night and apart from the fact that it's the best sports movie ever, Ronnie Bass aka "Sunshine" has got to be the person I aspire to be the most.
For starters, Sunshine defies all existing cliques and stereotypes. He's a jock- and an amazing one at that. He's clearly excellent at some martial art- I, however, can't really figure out which martial art it is. He's easy-going and funny and he plays the best mind games ever. For example, the scene in which PD tries to- not so subtly- find out Sunshine's sexual orientation (after he kisses Gary, which is extremely brave. I would not attempt kissing Gary), watch Sunshine cut PD down with grace and wit. This is who I aspire to be. Playing mind games with charm is definitely an A+ in my book. He's also the smoothest dude- watch how he easily embraces the (some what derogatory) nickname "Sunshine" with humour and easygoing-ness. These are important life lessons guys! Stay true to yourself, be smart and fun, you don't always need to explain yourself, be nice and somewhat naive (that scene in which he clearly hasn't understood how deep the racial tensions are), and do what you love. And be a smooth dude while you're at it.
Sunshine, you're my hero.
Friday 10 May 2013
... I find myself reproducing entire phrases or sentences as if new, and this may be compounded, sometimes, by a genuine forgetfulness. Looking back through my old notebooks, I find that many of the thoughts sketched in them are forgotten for years, and then revived and reworked as new. I suspect that such forgettings occur for everyone, and they may be especially common in those who write or paint or compose, for creativity may require such forgettings, in order that one’s memories and ideas can be born again and seen in new contexts and perspectives.
I don't need anyone else," from "Never Saw the Point", may read as a tossed-off line, but in a strangely positive way, it feels like the record's main message. Even the eternally sunny "Go Outside" ends on the lyric, "I think I want to live my life and you're just in my way." These are teenage sentiments, the kind of things you feel dumb for saying and thinking once you've navigated into your mid-twenties, but they're also universal sentiments during that stage of life when you're trying to figure out what kind of person you're going to be.
If there wasn't a word for it, would we realize our masochism as much?
- The Lover's Dictionary, David Leviathan
When a massive power outage struck southern California in the 1990s, Los Angeles residents reportedly called 911 to express alarm about strange clouds hovering overhead; they were seeing the Milky Way for the first time. (x)
While filming a scene for Season Three of Game of Thrones, Emilia Clarke found herself being heckled. The Khaleesi might have been in the process of checking out the Unsullied, a ferocious slave army willing to lose their nipples with nary a peep, but the “very overexcited Moroccan men” playing the soldiers were busy checking out the lovely 26-year-old Brit and her equally lovely co-star Nathalie Emmanuel. And whistling. And catcalling. It was a moment that called for a graceful intervention. “So basically when the cameras weren’t rolling, I made sure that I individually eyeballed every single one of them until they realized that we were a force to be reckoned with,” Clarke says. “Just because we were girls didn’t mean that we couldn’t be badass.” Without her having to say a word, her tactic brought the men to a heel: “They underestimated the intensity and ferocity of a woman’s stare.” Adds executive producer D.B. Weiss in his telling of the story, “Then she came back to the tent and talked for a good 10 minutes about how funny it would be in a later scene if Dany farted in the bathtub. Location
-Rolling Stone
Ever since I was little, I've always looked up to girls (and guys, for that matter) who seem to have their shit together. I've always tried to ape that aspect of the character's (or person's) personality. For example, Kristy from the Babysitters Club Series. She was the toughest chick in the series and she never ever cried.
For the longest time, I associated crying with weakness. I was extremely careful never to cry in public or in front of my friends. I wanted to be thought of as cool and composed and I wanted to be there for the friends who I thought needed me because they cried in front of me.
It's taken me a really long time to realize that I'm a crier. I cry for everything. I cry during movies and songs, I cry when sad and tragic things happen to people, I cry when I see other people get humiliated or embarrassed or rejected, I cried when I saw a lion in a cage during my first visit to the zoo, I cry when people make fun of my cooking, and most of all, I cry every time my parents sit down to have a talk with me. I guess you could call it a lecture or just general reminders that I'm not functioning to my potential or that my general apathy is going to get me nowhere in life or even simple issues like drinking (which, at least in my case, is not simple at all). This is really embarrassing because 97% of the time I end up in tears at the end of these "discussions" and furthermore, it's incredibly frustrating because I want my parents to take me seriously and treat me like an adult, but how the fuck are they supposed to manage that if I end up bawling like a baby all the time?!
I've had time to reconcile the fact that crying isn't actually a sign of immaturity or the fact that you're can't handle life or that you're a pussy. I know several adults who cry for everything, including my grandmother and a distant aunt and I don't think that makes them any less strong or capable. I admire people who are stoic and I think it's a useful trait, but that's just me.
I remember really worrying about the fact that every little thing made me cry but then I'm trying to realize it's just easier (and better) to embrace who you are and work with it instead of trying to be somebody who you really aren't (cool and composed). But then, again, I don't know anybody who is purely stoic or purely a crier or emotional. So basically this whole post is a waste of time, because to my family I'm probably an emotional train-wreck but to my friends I've probably got my shit together so instead of worrying about all these stupid things, I should probably concentrate on doing something productive like writing a novel or learning to play an instrument but look! This is me brushing off feelings and all I want to be is somebody who is in touch with her feelings so where does this leave me?
I've decided I'm going to make a zine on crying because what else am I going to do with my time? Also, crying while walking in the rain and listening to The Moon by Cat Power is probably the best way to get your shit together.
I usually dig MAC's funky pamphlets (or whatever it is they're called. Pamphlets has a very old lady feel to it) because they're really fun and colourful and exciting to look at. I especially love the fact that characters like Wonder Woman or the Evil Queen from Snow White can inspire a whole makeup collection. But am I the only one who's really amused by the new Archie's Girls collection? I spent a minute outside the MAC store today laughing my ass off because this editorial is so incredibly... spot on and funny. I keep forgetting Archie is red head. I was amused but at the same time pretty impressed. Something about the photos from this collection just really gets me.
I made a new mix which basically doubles up as a fanmix for movies like Dark City, 28 Days Later, Children of Men, and books like the Mortal Instruments series. What I really like about these movies and books are the worlds: dystopian or post-apocalyptic cities with dark alleys and generally creepy atmospheres. These songs are basically great for getting chased by zombies or running/driving for your life from oppressive tryants and/or monsters/zombies.
Imagine Dragons- Radioactive
Greenskeepers- Vagabond
The Pixies- Hey
The Rapture- Echoes
Radiohead- Talk Show Host
Arcade Fire- Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
The White Stripes- Seven Nation Army
The xx- Crystallized
Wolf Parade- You Are A Runner And I Am My Father's Son
I'm an iced tea queen. There's no other explanation for it. I made the sweetest iced tea from scratch today and it was perfect.
You boil water (like two or three cups) with a couple of tablespoons of tea leaves of your choice. I kind of winged it when it came to proportions and got super lucky. You need to be careful that you don't boil it too long. The bitterness creeps in otherwise. If you're using tea bags, let it seep in the hot water for a while but do not press the tea bags! Bad idea.
Sugar syrup is the important ingredient here, because it spreads through the tea beautifully. You boil equal parts sugar and water (try it out with one cup) until you get a clear, sort of thickish syrup. Let the syrup and the hot tea cool until it's room temperature before mixing them together in a big jar. Try it to make sure it's not too sweet but it totally differs from person to person. Squeeze in a lemon and you have the most beautiful iced tea ever!
While on the topic of DIY, I made pasta and tomato sauce today which was... interesting, to say the least. Note: do not confuse tomato puree with tomato sauce or real diced tomatoes. It was like eating butter chicken minus the chicken. Anyway, I'm on a quest to learn how to cook. That's on my list of things to do so that I can fend for myself. The next step would be learning how to drive but ugh, this fucking laziness.
And finally, my sister and I got super adventurous and made a galaxy print t-shirt!
I don't know how it's going to look once it's gone through a cycle of wash, but it was super fun to do. I'm probably going to experiment with this idea a lot more but now on to something new to do.
I feel like I've been in a real rut lately. I haven't been able to bring myself to do anything and that just makes me more apathetic and lazy and upset. I know exactly what I should do but I can't do anything except waste time online and walk from room to room whining. I can't even finish writing or reading a paragraph and it's so frustrating. Also, this is a really bad summer and even though I totally romanticize summers in my head, they kind of suck in reality. Also, I'm on a real negative kick and everything seems useless and pointless and stupid and I want to snap out of it. "The only person holding yourself back is you"- yes, wise words that I should stick up on my wall but I don't have the energy to do that.
I've been on a real movie watching kick. The best movie I watched in the last one week was probably Dark City, which is this sci-fi movie released in 1998 about a guy who wakes up with no memory of anything. He lives in a city where it's perpetually dark, he might be a serial killer and there are a bunch of creepy ball dudes after him. I really enjoyed this one. It was tense and fast-paced and mind-blowing and every little detail was so well done. The effects do get quite cheesy in the end but the overall effect was great.
I also watched The Place Beyond The Pines, which I thought I would love (Ryan Gosling) but it ended up being quite disappointing. A third of the movie is exactly like Drive, but with bikes and definitely not as good. Drive hits you good and you root really hard for the Driver but this movie just seemed like a poor substitute. There wasn't any flow as the movie slipped from one narrative to the other. The only thing I really really really enjoyed about the movie were the trees. I swear. The pines were beautiful. I would have enjoyed a movie about haunted woods a lot more, I think. (That's my new kick right now: haunted woods and folklore and myths and legends about haunted forests.I have a funky notebook dedicated just for this kind of stuff).
The Fall was another movie I watched and wait, that's the guy from Pushing Daisies?! There were some scenes that I really enjoyed (and cried during) but the overall effect was a little blah-ish. The little girl was really adorable though. I think I ended up watching the entire movie with full attention only because she was so incredibly good.
I remember watching Thelma and Louise a few years ago but I sat through it again. I'm all for movies about girls and generally being a kickass female but this one kind of fell flat. And I also watched Castle in the Sky, which was quite disappointing. I loved Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle and Princess Mononoke so I assumed I'd like this one but ugh no that was not the case.
I haven't read a book in a really long time, which is kind of sad. My to-read list on goodreads grows fast but so does my abandoned bookshelf. Need to sit down with one book and read it cover-to-cover.
I'm also bored and lonely because all my friends are in different places. Maybe if I studied, it would take my mind off stupid things but I wish there was a cure for laziness.
And now, every time I watched Game of Thrones and there's a scene with Theon in it, the only thing that comes to mind is this song:
At least Alfie finally amounted to something in life. And how insane was the last scene in this week's GoT episode?!
I love Sarah Dessen. I love her in the way that I stay up all night reading her novels, then proceeding to have intense conversations about them with the only person who will listen to me (my little sister), analyze her characters, and feel like a goddamn enlightened person.
Just Listen is one of the heartbreaking, important books everyone should read. Annabel was one of those girls who “had everything” but after an incident with her best friend’s boyfriend, she’s left destroyed. Nobody sits with her for lunch, her sister is anorexic, she can’t vocalize her feelings, she’s got issues with her mom, she’s falling for the school bad boy, etc. etc. Now I know these sound like extremely ~deep~ problems but trust me, they are! Sarah Dessen handles every feeling with the utmost sensitivity so it’s really refreshing to read. What really made me cry was the way she handled the psychology of a rape victim. I’m a bit over sensitive, but Just Listen can make anyone cry. It’s sad and hopeful and… well, everything at the same time. What I also really like about Sarah Dessen is that her novels are all one big coming-of-age story. This means that her characters don’t have to deal with one or two problems but several of them. And resolving them doesn’t just take a page or two but several hundred pages along with a couple of years of the characters’ lives. Your heart will beak for Annabel. She’s strong but vulnerable, caught in a tough place, still discovering who she is. You’ll love Owen because he’s not only the best kind of guy there is, but also the nicest kind, even if he comes across as brusque. All of the characters in the novel are excellently fleshed out (except maybe Sophie, Annabel’s ex best friend). The dynamic between Annabel and her sister(s) are interesting and well thought out and that just makes the whole novel all the more fulfilling. And the whole way music is brought into the novel (it is called “Just Listen”, y’know?) makes you want to start your own radio show and listen to Celtic chants. I LOVE YOU SARAH DESSEN.
I think the best kind of poems are the simple and short ones, but the ones that sum up all your feelings in a few lines. So keeping up with National Poetry Month, today's poem is The Look by Sara Teasdale.
I realized today that April is National Poetry Month and usually I roll my eyes at the these kind of months/days (National Masturbation Day? Really?), I secretly kind of dig them because what is more exciting than having one day (or week or month) dedicated especially for one specific thing, so you can geek out completely and appreciate everything there is to appreciate about said thing? Anyway, The Orange by Wendy Cope is one of my favourite poems ever because it's as simple as poems get, and yet it hits you in all the right places.
At lunchtime I bought a huge orange The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave— They got quarters and I had a half.
And that orange it made me so happy, As ordinary things often do Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park This is peace and contentment. It's new.
The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all my jobs on my list And enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I'm glad I exist.
Wednesday 27 March 2013
I got my hands on Comedown Machine. There was a time when I
was convinced I would like absolutely anything the Strokes came up with but now
I’m not so sure. I’m giving the album a listen by picking a random song and
playing it continuously but I’m not really feeling it. I remember listening to
Is This It in the eleventh grade while sulking in my tent because someone on
tumblr had recommended it and I was already convinced had to like it because of
these favourable reviews so I just sat there listening to it thrice in row and
then I found myself listening to it for two years nonstop.
I want to listen to a new album which grabs you and just
doesn’t let you go and smothers you because it’s that incredible or just makes
you feel like a better human being because you’re listening to something that
great. I don’t know if I’m making sense on this one. I just want a new album to
love.
Sometimes I think the inside of my head is a combination of
the Cults (tracks would include Most Wanted or Go Outside) and the Shangri-las
and Hunx and his Punx and Smith Westerns.
My feelings are stupid. They're often of the "I am hungry" or "I am sad" or "Does he like me?" or "I am feeling shy" variety. I appreciate lyrical masterpieces as much as the next person but at the end of the day, I love songsthat has simple lyrics but still captures your feelings perfectly. Some may argue that the Smith Westerns's lyrics borderline dumb, but not me! These guys manage to tap my exact emotion(s)! Thar's been enough to keep me listening for three years straight.
Dye It Blonde is a super polished successor to Smith Westerns, their debut album- which is a gem in it's own right, not doubt. However, Dye It Blonde takes me feelings and amplifies them and makes them so beautiful and simple. What you have is ten tracks of pure simplicity and ~teenage~ emotions. I listened to this album every weekend in the twelfth grade because it captured my emotions perfectly. It's all about longing and love and wanting to have fun and just emotional debauchery in general. It doesn't matter if you're falling in love or falling out of it because Dye It Blonde will work for you either way (teenage ups and downs woohoo). Or even if you're alone in your room on a Saturday night- this is perfect music, you guys! It's a fun combination of glam rock and garage rock and pop and it touches my soul like nobody's business. Probably the most important album ever!
And I've been listening to their new track "Varsity" from their new album and it's so incredibly good.
The French word frisson actually means "a brief intense reaction, usually a feeling of excitement, recognition, or terror". A sudden passing sensation of excitement, a shudder of emotion while you're reeling from an epic moment. Scientifically, it is a "pleasant tingling feeling, association with the flexing of hair follicles resulting in piloerection (goosebumps you guys!), accompanied by a cold sensation, and sometimes producing a shudder or shiver". We've all felt it; an emotional response when you're deeply affected by things like music, speech, art, or memories.
This is one of my favourite poems ever. You can listen to Gwendolyn Brooks reading it here.
I Think I Am In Friend-Love With You by Yumi Sakugawa in Sadie Magazine
Unsolicited Advice To Adolescent Girls With Crooked Teeth And Pink Hair
When your mother hits you, do not strike back. When the boys call asking your cup size, say A, hang up. When he says you gave him blue balls, say you’re welcome. When a girl with thick black curls who smells like bubble gum stops you in a stairwell to ask if you’re a boy, explain that you keep your hair short so she won’t have anything to grab when you head-butt her. Then head-butt her. When a guidance counselor teases you for handed-down jeans, do not turn red. When you have sex for the second time and there is no condom, do not convince yourself that screwing between layers of underwear will soak up the semen. When your geometry teacher posts a banner reading: “Learn math or go home and learn how to be a Momma,” do not take your first feminist stand by leaving the classroom. When the boy you have a crush on is sent to detention, go home. When your mother hits you, do not strike back. When the boy with the blue mohawk swallows your heart and opens his wrists, hide the knives, bleach the bathtub, pour out the vodka. Every time. When the skinhead girls jump you in a bathroom stall, swing, curse, kick, do not turn red. When a boy you think you love delivers the first black eye, use a screw driver, a beer bottle, your two good hands. When your father locks the door, break the window. When a college professor writes you poetry and whispers about your tight little ass, do not take it as a compliment, do not wait, call the Dean, call his wife. When a boy with good manners and a thirst for Budweiser proposes, say no. When your mother hits you, do not strike back. When the boys tell you how good you smell, do not doubt them, do not turn red. When your brother tells you he is gay, pretend you already know. When the girl on the subway curses you because your tee shirt reads: “I fucked your boyfriend,” assure her that it is not true. When your dog pees the rug, kiss her,
apologize for being late. When he refuses to stay the night because you live in Jersey City, do not move. When he refuses to stay the night because you live in Harlem, do not move. When he refuses to stay the night because your air conditioner is broken, leave him. When he refuses to keep a toothbrush at your apartment, leave him. When you find the toothbrush you keep at his apartment hidden in the closet, leave him. Do not regret this. Do not turn red. When your mother hits you, do not strike back.
The White Stripes- We're Going To Be Friends
\
Johnny Cash- Hurt
I
Well God is love so love me
God is love so love me God
is love so love me well
II Love the sun comes up in
the morning and in
the evening zippy zappy it goes
III We watched a red rooster with
two hens back of the museum
at St. Croix flap his
wings zippy zappy and crow - "Calypsos" by William Carlos Williams
Skins' Tony is cool as a cucumber. Glacier cool. Ice cold. Technically speaking, Tony isn't a nice guy. He's probably a sociopath. He isn't somebody anyone should aspire to be. However, I really admire crafty people and Tony is the king of craftiness. He's a master strategist- he can manipulate any situation to work for him. Those are important life skills! He gets what he wants and uses twisted methods to get them. It helps that he's super smart and incredibly good-looking. Not for everyday situations but you sometimes just need to channel Tony.
The first season of Veronica Mars has enough advice that should last you well through school- and college. Veronica is one cool chick. What I really like is that she doesn't let her problems get to her. She channels all her attention and energy to become a modern day Nancy Drew. She's snarky, smart, resourceful and kicks serious ass. She pursues things with a single-minded determination. Important life advice: do not let high school (or for that matter, any) drama get to you. Ostracized by not only your former friends but the entire community? Suck it up and pursue extracurricular interests like tracking down your best friend's killer and/or solve mysteries for your classmates but do not forget to charge (be economical). Have contacts- cops, hackers, motorcycle gangs, the likes. You never know whose help you'll need. Sleep in class but be smart enough to answer any question being thrown at you. You have time to pursue relationships- healthy or not. Be helpful. And most of all, your relationship with your dad is important.
I just finished watching Dazed and Confused again and I know I've blogged about it before but it's really the best movie ever. I'm all for beautiful and artistic movies that would probably go down in cinema history but I can't think of many movies like this gem which are filled with so much ~soul~.
2013 marks the twentieth anniversary of Dazed and Confused and Esquire has some pretty interesting pieces about the film and the general nostalgia- be it about youth or the seventies in general. I especially love this part:
It's a film about the confounding mixture of longing and regret that the memory of youth always has. All the kids in Dazed and Confused want nothing but to be out of high school. All the people watching Dazed and Confused want nothing more than to be back in high school. Everybody wants the times they're going to have or the times they once had. There's no solution to that ache. Maybe McConaughey's character, the one who refuses to grow up, gets it right: "You gotta just keep livin, man. L-I-V-I-N.
My favourite part of Dazed and Confused is about how simple it is. Everybody's hanging around with everybody and cliques seamlessly blend into each other. That's exactly how I remembered school. Everybody was somebody else's friend and the concept of clique-ishness which is pretty much done to death in every other movie/TV show didn't really exist.
The drama is so low-key in Dazed. I don’t remember teenage being that dramatic. I remember just trying to go with the flow, socialize, fit in and be cool. The stakes were really low. To get Aerosmith tickets or not? That’s a big thing. It was really rare when the star-crossed lovers from the opposite side of the tracks and the girl gets pregnant and there’s a car crash and somebody dies. That didn’t really happen much. But riding around and trying to look for something to do with the music cranked up, now that happened a lot!
Beautifully summed up by Richard Linklater. What really gets me is the fact that Dazed is about driving around a small town late at night which is probably the most boring thing ever (I don't have any experience with that but I do know the feeling of having nothing to do late at night and walking around) but it makes you want to call your buds and grab a few beers and do exactly that. It captures the most mundane things with amazing clarity and it gets the smallest things and the end result is this strange vibe of a combination of weed and beer and suburbs and bell bottoms and boredom.
All of Linklater's movies are heavily dependent on dialogue and that's what I love. Every single character fits in with the whole story so beautifully with dialogues that just... blend in so nicely. I
I just want to listen to Sweet Emotion all summer long now.
Made another mix. Summer jams for hot days that include picnics and cycling (okay no) and staying up and feeling hot and being with friends and feeling the heat.
Regina Spektor- Folding Chair
Canned Heat- Going Up The Country (perfect cycling song. You know that scene in the Notebook when they're riding cycles through the woods? This should be the song. Okay it's not romantic enough. Into The Wild has the perfect usage of this song)
The Weepies- I Was Made For Sunny Days
Dire Straits- Twisting by the Pool
All Girl Summer Fun Band- Down South, 10 Hours
Tennis- Marathon
Led Zeppelin- D'yer Mak'er
The Young Rascals- Groovin'
Weezer- Island in the Sun
The White Stripes- Your Southern Can Is Mine
MGMT- Time to Pretend
Little Joy- Brand New Start
ELO- Mr. Blue Sky
The Strokes- The Modern Age
John Travolta and Olivia Newton John- Summer Nights
Koko Beware- I Miss You
Joni Mitchell- California
The Rolling Stones- Laugh, I Nearly Died
Arcade Fire- The Suburbs
Atlas Strategic- Smooth Nights
Backstreet Goodbye- Summer Drive Song
The Vaccines- Wreckin' Bar (Ra Ra)
Black Lips- Bad Kids
Blitzen Trapper- Summer Town
Gold Motel- Safe in LA
Jonathan Richman- That Summer Feeling
Phosporescent- It's Hard To Be Humble (When You're From Alabama)
Serious case of frisson, guys. I've only ever heard Westlife's version of Seasons in the Sun, which I kind of enjoy but I'd never admit to liking in public. Anyway, this cover is a gem and I wish there were more pop-y Nirvana songs to listen to.
I haven't watched the original Shameless but I have watched the US remake and Lip Gallagher is one cool dude. I'm not talking about the second season, during which he loses all his brownie points by acting like a total doof and an absolute idiot by acting like a total moron over the one character that seems to have zero redeeming qualities (it's a sore subject). During the first season of Shameless however, Lip was the coolest and the smartest person in the cast. I really value cunning people and Lip (along with the other Gallaghers) probably tops the list. He takes the SATs for other people. He runs an ice cream truck that sells ice-cream AND weed. He is so incredibly smart. And the best of all, he's a good brother. His relationship with Ian is melting heart worthy. Plus, his eyebrows! It looks like he's constantly scorning people. Perfect.
Friday 15 February 2013
I don't know if I've talked about Tiger Lily by Jodi Lynn Anderson but it's seventy different shades of beautiful (that doesn't really make sense, but it made perfect sense in my head). Peter Pan is one of my favourite books of all times. When I was eleven, I was pretty convinced that Neverland existed- okay, I wanted Neverland to exist so badly- that I wrote a letter and threw it out of my balcony and then stared at the sky mumbling "second to the right and straight on 'til morning". I also did that when I was six, after watching Son Pari, but we do not talk about such times.
The point I'm trying to make is that I loved Peter Pan. I loved Peter Pan for Neverland and the Lost Boys and Peter. I really didn't like Wendy at all and I never ever thought of Tiger Lily. But this book changed a lot for me. For starters, it's achingly sad. I mean, it's sad for a fifteen year old girl and you know she's going to be okay when she's eighty because we all get over the love stories we had when we were that age so it's actually kind of pointless but this was so sad and bittersweet. Tiger Lily is also one of my favourite female protagonists ever because she's smart and strong and she makes mistakes all the time and thus she's human and her story is sad.
My thoughts are reduced to garbled mumbling. Tiger Lily is a beautiful book. The author mentions J.M. Barrie and Francesca Lia Block as influences and that is such a dangerously beautiful combination.
Sometimes I think that maybe we are just stories. Like we may as well just be words on a page, because we're only what we've done and what we are going to do.
You guys! Also, the story is narrated by Tinker Bell which offers this fascinating perspective of everything on the island. And look out for Smee, who is probably the creepiest character in the novel.
How can I describe Peter's face, the pieces of him that stick to my heart? Peter sometimes looked aloof and distant; sometimes his face was open and soft as a bruise. Sometimes he looked completely at Tiger Lily, as if she were the point on which all the universe revolved, as if she were the biggest mystery of life, or as if she were a flame and he couldn't not look even though he was scared. And sometimes it would all disappear into carelessness, confidence, amusement, as if he didn't need anyone or anything on this earth to feel happy and alive.
Thursday 7 February 2013
I just came back from one of the best vacations I ever had (it was actually a Model United Nations but it felt more like a holiday) and I totally get the beauty of travelling without parents. I also think it's super important to acknowledge the important and happy things that happen to you, and be grateful for them. I would list out all those moments I was super thankful for, and all those moments that feel so magical now that I look back on them but in my case, writing these memories always takes away the... specialness of the moment. It diminishes the appeal and then I feel stupid for writing it down in the first place and suddenly the moment doesn't feel all that magical anymore.
I love Rookie, and Rookie is everything relevant. I especially love this month's Editor's Letter by Tavi. I especially love this part:
My goofiest-sounding secret is that I also believe in magic. Sometimes I call it God and sometimes I call it light, and I believe in it because every now and then I read a really good book or hear a really good song or have a really good conversation with a friend and they seem to have some kind of shine to them. The list I keep of these moments in the back of my journal is comprised less of times when I was laughing or smiling and more of times when I felt like I could feel the colors in my eyes deepening from the display before me. Times in which I felt I was witnessing an all-encompassing representation of life driven by an understanding that, coincidence or not, our existence is a peculiar thing, and perhaps the greatest way to honor it is to just be human. To be happy AND sad, and everything else.
This is super important. Like, let's paint it on your wall and read it everyday important.
I'm also on a quest to be a more accomplished person but I only go through this phase once in every three weeks and the only (productive) thing I've achieved recently is... well, nothing. Life.
Sunday 20 January 2013
I haven't moved from the front of my computer for about three hours now, except to make two cups of tea. A Sunday well spent, I must say. My midterms got over last week so this means I'm going back to spending all my evenings online again. These are three songs that I've got stuck in my head and I listen to each song about fifteen times a day at the least.
